What Can be Used Against You in a Custody Battle?

When you’re facing a custody battle, every action, decision, and piece of evidence can influence the outcome. New York courts prioritize the best interests of the child, which means they will scrutinize everything from your daily routines to your communication with the other parent. If you’re not fully prepared, even small missteps, missed visits, harsh text messages, or unstable housing can be used against you in court. Understanding what courts look for and what may hurt your case is crucial to protecting your parental rights and securing a favorable outcome.

If you’re involved in a custody dispute in Manhattan, working with an experienced attorney can make all the difference. The Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, Esq. offers strategic and compassionate legal support tailored to your unique situation. You may be seeking full custody or looking to establish a fair co-parenting arrangement, either way, having the right legal guidance is key. Call (646) 259-3416 to schedule a consultation with a trusted Manhattan child custody lawyer who can help you build a strong, evidence-backed case that puts your child’s well-being first.

New York’s Custody Law: Legal Framework

In New York, child custody decisions are guided by a singular, overarching principle: the best interests of the child. Courts do not presume that either parent is automatically entitled to custody. Instead, judges examine the totality of the circumstances, considering several factors.

Importantly, New York law makes clear that there is no legal preference for either parent based on gender. The statute and supporting case law affirm that there is “no prima facie right to custody” for the mother or the father. This ensures that both parents start on equal legal footing in a custody proceeding, and the outcome is determined solely by what will serve the child’s best interests.

Key points under New York custody law:

• Custody can be legal (decision-making authority), physical (where the child lives), or both.
• Courts may award sole or joint custody depending on family dynamics and parental cooperation.
  The child’s preferences may be considered, especially as they grow older and demonstrate maturity.
• Temporary custody orders may be issued during litigation, but final orders focus on long-term welfare.

Domestic Violence and Abuse

In custody proceedings, any indication of domestic violence or abuse, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, carries significant weight. As a result, a documented history of abusive behavior can severely damage a parent’s chances of obtaining custody. The law is clear: a parent who poses a danger to the child or the other parent will not be granted custodial rights.

Physical Abuse

Acts of physical violence against a child, a co-parent, or even unrelated individuals can be disqualifying in custody decisions. Under New York law, if a parent is proven by a preponderance of the evidence to have committed child abuse or endangered the child, the court must not award custody to that parent. 

Evidence such as:

• police reports, 
• arrest records, 
• medical documentation, 
• criminal convictions, 
• or orders of protection

can be used to establish this behavior. The abuse does not have to occur in the child’s presence to be considered relevant. A consistent pattern of physical aggression, such as hitting, choking, or inflicting bodily harm, indicates a potentially dangerous environment, and courts will act to protect the child from future risk.

Emotional and Verbal Abuse

New York courts also recognize that abuse includes more than physical acts. Emotional and verbal abuse, including yelling, belittling, threatening, or intimidation, can have serious effects on a child’s sense of stability. These behaviors often reflect emotional instability that can compromise effective co-parenting. 

For example, a parent who repeatedly screams at the other parent in front of the child or makes statements like “You’ll never see the kids again” may be considered incapable of fostering a supportive and cooperative parenting relationship. Courts carefully evaluate whether such conduct affects the child’s emotional health and security.

Harassment and Coercive Control

Abuse can also take the form of harassment or controlling behavior. This includes stalking, damaging property during arguments, or making threats that involve the child’s well-being. Courts view these actions as part of a cycle of intimidation and emotional manipulation. 

For instance, a parent who breaks household items during a conflict or uses threatening language to gain compliance may be viewed as a threat to the home environment.

Substance Abuse and Addiction

New York courts take substance abuse seriously in custody disputes because of the potential risks it poses to a child’s safety, development, and daily care. 

Additionally, judges might also consider the following factors:

• Consistency in Recovery Efforts: Courts may look at whether the parent has followed through with addiction treatment, attended counseling, or maintained long-term sobriety without court compulsion.
• Willingness to Submit to Monitoring: A parent who voluntarily agrees to random drug tests, supervised visitation, or monitoring may be seen as more cooperative and invested in the child’s best interests.
• Support Network and Living Situation: Judges evaluate whether the parent has a stable home, sober companions, and a reliable support system to prevent relapse or provide emergency care.
• Insight and Accountability: Courts are more receptive to parents who acknowledge their struggles and demonstrate a clear understanding of how their addiction has affected the child.
• Past Attempts to Hide Substance Use: Any effort to conceal addiction from the court, co-parent, or the child, such as tampering with test results or lying about incidents, can seriously damage credibility.

It is important to remember that judges are not interested in moral judgments, but they are deeply concerned with whether a parent struggling with addiction can provide a dependable, safe, and nurturing environment.

Factor	What Courts Look For	Impact on Custody
Consistency in Recovery Efforts	Completion of treatment, counseling, and long-term sobriety	Shows responsibility and stability
Willingness to Submit to Monitoring	Agreement to random drug tests or supervised visits	Demonstrates cooperation and focus on child’s interests
Support Network and Living Situation	Stable home, sober companions, emergency support	Indicates a safe, supportive environment
Insight and Accountability	Acknowledgment of addiction and its impact	Builds trust and credibility with the court
Past Attempts to Hide Substance Use	Dishonesty or efforts to conceal substance use	Harms credibility and parental fitness

Mental Health and Emotional Stability

One of the more sensitive areas involved in child custody is the mental and emotional health of each parent. The court’s priority is always the child’s safety and overall well-being, and concerns about a parent’s psychological or emotional state are addressed with a balance of caution and fairness. 

Health vs. Parenting Ability

Having a mental health condition does not automatically disqualify a parent from custody. What matters to the court is whether the condition impacts the parent’s ability to provide safe, consistent, and appropriate care. Diagnoses such as severe depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia are not viewed in isolation. Instead, judges look at how symptoms manifest and whether they interfere with parenting duties. 

A parent who experiences delusions, frequent emotional crashes, or manic episodes that result in erratic conduct may face questions about their reliability. Documentation such as psychiatric evaluations, hospitalization history, and testimony from medical professionals can all influence how the court views a parent’s functional capacity.

Stability and Treatment Compliance

Judges tend to respond favorably when a parent shows a commitment to managing their mental health. A clear and consistent treatment plan, such as regular therapy, adherence to prescribed medication, and follow-through on professional recommendations, can demonstrate that the parent takes their role seriously. On the other hand, ignoring a diagnosis or discontinuing treatment without cause may raise red flags. If untreated symptoms cause frequent disruptions or emotional instability in the household, this could negatively affect a custody determination. Courts are not expecting perfection, but they are looking for reliability and accountability when it comes to mental wellness.

Criminal History and Illegal Activities

In custody cases, New York courts take a close look at each parent’s background, including any history of criminal behavior. While the presence of a criminal record does not automatically disqualify a parent from obtaining custody, it can raise serious concerns depending on the nature, frequency, and recency of the offenses. 

Past Convictions

Criminal convictions, particularly for violent or high-risk offenses, can severely damage a parent’s credibility in a custody case. Crimes such as child abuse, domestic violence, assault, and drug trafficking are viewed as direct indicators of parental unfitness. These offenses suggest potential harm to the child or to others in the home. Even non-violent offenses, such as theft, DUI, or fraud, may raise red flags about judgment and personal stability. 

Courts also consider the timing of the offense. A single, low-level misdemeanor from many years ago may carry less weight than a recent or repeated pattern of criminal conduct. The more serious and recent the conviction, the more likely it is to negatively influence the outcome of a custody proceeding.

Pending Charges and Outstanding Warrants

Ongoing legal trouble can be just as damaging as a prior conviction. If a parent has pending criminal charges or an outstanding warrant, it may reflect a lack of control, poor decision-making, or unresolved instability. Courts may see this as a signal that the parent’s current life circumstances are not conducive to raising a child.

Public Order and Safety Concerns

Certain illegal behaviors that compromise public safety or the child’s immediate environment are given special attention. Driving under the influence with a child in the vehicle, possession of illegal firearms, or repeated violations of court orders are all examples of conduct that reflect poorly on parental judgment. In evaluating these issues, the court will also consider whether the parent has made efforts toward rehabilitation. 

However, a failure to take responsibility, avoid court appearances, or correct dangerous behavior may be seen as a pattern of disregard for rules and accountability. Ultimately, if a parent’s criminal activity affects their availability, judgment, or the safety of the child, it can significantly weaken their custody position.

Neglect and Lack of Parental Involvement

In custody disputes, judges assess more than just legal titles or time spent with the child. Failing to meet a child’s needs or ignoring legal obligations can raise red flags that affect a parent’s custody rights. These are not minor missteps; they speak directly to the child’s best interests and long-term stability.

Signs of Neglect or Lack of Involvement

Courts are concerned with whether a parent consistently meets the child’s daily needs and participates meaningfully in their upbringing. A pattern of absence, neglect, or emotional detachment may suggest that the parent is not able, or not willing, to provide a nurturing environment.

• Inadequate Care During Visits: Returning the child in unclean clothes, without homework completed, or appearing malnourished can be presented as signs of physical or educational neglect.
• Limited Participation in the Child’s Life: Repeatedly missing school conferences, extracurricular events, or scheduled parenting time suggests a lack of commitment to parenting responsibilities.
• Emotional Absence: Parents who show little interest in their child’s daily life, hobbies, or friendships may be seen as emotionally disconnected, especially when corroborated by credible testimony.
• Child Protective Services Involvement: Indicated reports from CPS investigations can carry significant weight in court, particularly if they involve supervision failures or unsafe conditions during the parent’s custody time.

Violations of Legal Orders and Custody Terms

New York Family Courts expect parents to follow court-issued custody, visitation, and support orders without exception. 

• Ignoring Visitation and Exchange Schedules: Failing to return the child on time, withholding visitation, or missing scheduled exchanges can be documented and used to demonstrate unreliability.
• Moving the Child Without Permission: Changing a child’s residence or school without court approval or the other parent’s consent constitutes custodial interference under New York law and may trigger legal sanctions.
• Contempt and Court Disobedience: Failing to comply with child support orders, parenting class mandates, or protective orders may result in a contempt finding. Courts take these violations seriously and may reduce custody or impose supervision if the parent is deemed untrustworthy.

Repeated non-compliance shows a disregard for structure and legal authority, which undermines trust and stability in the co-parenting relationship.

Financial Stability and Support

Judges do not favor one parent over another based on income alone, but they do evaluate whether each parent can provide a safe, secure, and consistent environment. A demonstrated ability to meet the child’s needs, manage finances responsibly, and follow legal obligations, particularly regarding child support, can strengthen a parent’s custody position.

Financial Capacity to Support the Child

The first question the court asks is whether each parent can meet the child’s essential needs. This includes maintaining stable housing, affording nutritious food, providing clothing, covering medical expenses, and supporting school-related costs. 

A parent who is frequently unemployed, living in temporary accommodations, or unable to pay for basic necessities may appear unable to provide the security the child requires. Courts assess whether each household can offer structure, reliability, and continuity in the child’s day-to-day life.

Financial Behavior and Decision-Making

Beyond raw income, judges evaluate how each parent manages their finances. Financial responsibility speaks to broader decision-making patterns that directly affect the child’s stability. Excessive personal debt, repeated bankruptcies, gambling losses, or extravagant spending unrelated to the child’s needs may raise concerns. Even if such issues have not yet disrupted the child’s life, they can serve as warning signs about future risk.

Compliance with Child Support Obligations

New York courts treat child support as a fundamental parental duty. Failing to meet court-ordered support payments reflects poorly on a parent’s reliability. Judges view unpaid support, particularly in large amounts, as evidence of indifference to the child’s welfare. If one parent can show payment records while the other has a history of arrears, this imbalance may lead the court to award more custodial responsibility to the parent who fulfills their obligations. On the other hand, a parent who consistently pays support on time and complies with all financial orders demonstrates accountability and respect for legal responsibilities, qualities that weigh favorably in custody determinations.

Proactive Steps to Protect Your Custody Rights

Securing custody in New York is not just about defending against allegations; it’s about consistently proving that you are a stable, engaged, and responsible parent. Courts want to see evidence of positive involvement, legal compliance, and genuine commitment to the child’s well-being. The following steps can help strengthen your position in any custody proceeding:

• Follow All Court Orders: Obey all custody, visitation, support, and protective orders to the letter. Arrive on time for exchanges, make support payments (even partial if necessary), and keep thorough records of every transaction or interaction.
• Demonstrate Involvement: Be consistently present in your child’s daily life. Attend school conferences, sports events, and medical appointments, and document your participation through calendars, photos, or written confirmations from teachers or coaches. Small, routine actions like helping with homework or preparing meals help paint the picture of an invested parent.
• Address Problems Immediately: If you struggle with issues like addiction, anger, or mental health, seek treatment before being ordered to. Voluntarily completing parenting classes, therapy, or rehab programs shows initiative and accountability. Keep documentation to demonstrate progress, and if any allegations arise, comply fully and consult your attorney right away.
• Maintain Stability: Offer a calm and child-friendly home environment. Keep steady employment and secure housing, and avoid frequent moves or chaotic living situations. If your situation changes, notify the court or the other parent proactively. Judges take note of routines, safety, and structure both in and out of the courtroom.
• Communicate Respectfully: Always keep interactions with your co-parent civil and child-centered. Avoid hostile texts, arguments, or confrontations that could be used as evidence of poor judgment. If disagreements arise, opt for mediation or go through legal channels instead of escalating the conflict.

Staying consistent, responsible, and cooperative, you not only fulfill your duties as a parent but also create a compelling case for custody. New York courts value action over intention, and tangible proof of good parenting will always carry more weight than verbal promises alone. Staying proactive and focused on the child’s best interests is the most effective path to securing and maintaining custody.

Protect Your Parental Rights with the Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, Esq.

Custody battles can be emotionally and legally overwhelming, but with the right strategy and support, you can protect your relationship with your child and secure an arrangement that truly serves their best interests. Every detail matters: what you do, how you communicate, and how you present your case in court can all play a role in the final outcome.

The Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, Esq. is here to advocate for you with precision, experience, and care. Our team understands the high stakes of child custody cases and is committed to guiding you through every step with clarity and determination. Call (646) 259-3416 today to speak with an experienced Manhattan child custody lawyer and start building a strong case for your future.

from Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, Esq. https://www.romanshum.com/what-can-be-used-against-you-in-a-custody-battle/