Going through a divorce is undoubtedly a challenging and emotional process, and it becomes even more complex when children are involved. As parents, it is essential to prioritize the well-being and happiness of your children during this difficult time. While it may seem overwhelming, there are practical steps you can take to ensure that your kids are protected and supported throughout the divorce process. In this article, we will explore four key ways to put your children first during a divorce, helping them navigate this transition with care and compassion.
One crucial resource to consider when prioritizing your children’s needs during a divorce is a reputable Manhattan divorce attorney. A skilled lawyer can provide invaluable guidance and support, not only in the legal aspects of the divorce but also in matters concerning child custody and visitation rights. At the law office of Richard Roman Shum, our New York divorce attorneys may be able to help facilitate effective communication between you and your ex-spouse, ensuring that your children’s voices are heard and their needs are met. Whether it’s negotiating custody arrangements or mediating conflicts, our team can be an invaluable ally in safeguarding your children’s well-being throughout the divorce process. Call us today at (646) 259-3416 to schedule a consultation.
1. Keep All Fighting in Private
One of the reasons many couples get divorced is because the fighting and disagreements never seem to end or get resolved. When the topic of divorce is broached, it’s normal to feel upset. However, if you feel like your emotions will turn into aggressive anger, make sure your children aren’t present for that conversation. To protect the emotional health of your children, make sure all heated arguments are kept behind closed doors. This will help your children feel less anxious about the changes to the family dynamic and assure them that they can still trust you and your spouse.
2. Have an Honest Discussion About the Upcoming Changes
When a child’s routine is disturbed, it can cause them to lash out, lose sleep, or develop anxiety. To prevent this from happening, you and your spouse should sit down with your kids and have an age-appropriate and open conversation about the changes that will happen once the divorce is finalized. Have a schedule worked out so they’ll feel secure in the homes of both parents. Try and keep their daily routines and rules/expectations the same at both houses. Consistency can help your children during the transition.
3. Allow Your Children to Express Themselves
As parents, we often find ourselves censoring and correcting our children’s behavior. “Don’t call your sister names!” and “That’s your last warning!” come to mind. But during divorce, give your kids some space to express their emotions. That doesn’t mean allowing them to be rude or disrespectful, but if they feel angry, sad, or confused, let them express those emotions in whatever words they can. Sometimes, it can be hard for kids to find the appropriate words for their feelings, so give them time and space to do so.
4. Don’t Treat Your Children Like Friends
Basically, this means don’t talk to or discuss things with your kids that would discuss with your adult friends. Trash-talking your spouse or seeking emotional support shouldn’t be directed at your children. While it’s okay to cry together and talk about your feelings, do so in a way that makes your child feel supported, not the other way around. Your children are already feeling like their foundation is being shaken, so to add any extra stress would be detrimental to your kids’ emotional well-being.
5. Keep Routines Intact
Children thrive on routine and predictability, which can be significantly disrupted during a divorce. To minimize the impact on your kids, make every effort to maintain their usual routines and family traditions. This can include keeping meal times, bedtimes, and extracurricular activities consistent. Even if your children will be dividing their time between two homes, try to synchronize schedules with your co-parent to provide stability.
If you have family traditions like Friday movie nights or Sunday afternoon park visits, continue with these as much as possible. It offers a sense of normalcy in a time when many things might be changing for your children. If certain traditions can’t be continued, consider creating new ones that fit the new family dynamic. This will not only help your children adjust but also build new positive memories and experiences for them to cherish.
Should Co-Parents Spend Time Together
Co-parenting is a complex issue with no one-size-fits-all solution. Determining the best approach relies on the specific circumstances of the family and prioritizing the well-being of the children involved. While some co-parents find it beneficial to spend time together to support their children and maintain a positive relationship, others may find it more advantageous to establish clear boundaries and focus on separate parenting responsibilities.
When deciding whether to spend time together, co-parents must consider the emotional impact on their children. Open communication is crucial in explaining the situation to children and addressing any confusion or distress they may experience. It is important for parents to ensure that their children understand the reasons behind the divorce and that spending time together does not imply a reconciliation. Offering clear and age-appropriate explanations can help children navigate the complexities of their parents’ separation.
Additionally, co-parents need to evaluate how spending time together may influence their parenting plan and overall co-parenting dynamic. If conflicts and tensions arise in each other’s presence, it may be more beneficial to establish separate routines and minimize contact to maintain stability for the children. Conversely, if co-parents can maintain a cooperative and amicable relationship while spending time together, it can lead to more effective co-parenting and better decision-making for the children’s well-being.
Ultimately, the central focus in making decisions about co-parenting arrangements should be the well-being and happiness of the children. Seeking guidance from professionals such as family therapists or mediators who specialize in co-parenting dynamics can be helpful for co-parents. They can offer valuable insights and assist co-parents in navigating the challenges that arise in post-divorce or separation co-parenting relationships.
divorce lawyer in New York City
Factors Affecting a Judge’s Decision Regarding Child Custody
New York judges have a lot of discretion when it comes to determining what is in the best interest of a child. A judge will take into account not only the best interests of a child but also the circumstances and unique facts of each divorce case.
A judge in New York can assess any factor that is relevant to the child’s well-being when deciding custody. They may also look at the child’s mental and physical health as well as the ability of each parent to provide stability for the child.
Both the preference of the child and the parents for custody are also important factors that the judge will look into. They will need to determine if joint custody is appropriate. The working relationship between the parents and whether each parent is willing to foster a close relationship with the other when deciding joint custody will also be taken into consideration.
The safety of a child in the care of a parent is an important custody factor. A custody decision may be affected by a parent’s history of domestic violence and could lead to that parent having supervised visits.
Siblings should be kept together if possible. However, each child’s needs will be evaluated and, in certain cases, a judge might decide that it is in the best interest of each child to separate siblings.
At the Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, you’ll receive personalized care during your divorce. As a father who has gone through the divorce process himself, Attorney Richard Shum will keep your children a priority during this stressful time. If you’d like to set up a free consultation, contact us at (646) 259-3416.
from Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, Esq. https://www.romanshum.com/blog/4-ways-to-put-your-kids-first-during-a-divorce/
Embarking on a grey divorce in New York presents a set of specific challenges that require careful navigation. The intertwining of years, often decades, of marital assets, retirement plans, and shared memories calls for a nuanced understanding of both legal and emotional landscapes. At The Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, our Manhattan divorce lawyer is attuned to the delicacy of these matters and offers the steady guidance needed to protect what matters most to you.
Understanding the importance of preserving your rights and dignity, we approach each case with a blend of legal acumen and empathy. Grey divorce can signify a new beginning, and our goal is to help you embark on this journey with the knowledge and legal strategy that reflect your individual needs and circumstances.
If you’re facing the complexities of a grey divorce, take a proactive step toward securing your future. Reach out to one of our seasoned Manhattan divorce lawyers at The Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, and let’s discuss how we can assist you in moving forward from this challenging time with the respect and attentive representation you deserve. We can assist in exploring an amicable approach to divorce and provide guidelines on how to initiate the divorce process. Your path to a new chapter starts with a conversation—let us be part of your support system as you navigate this significant life transition. Contact us today at (646) 259-3416 to schedule a consultation.
Defining Grey Divorce in Modern Society
Grey divorce, or later-life divorce, refers to the increasing phenomenon of older couples—often over the age of 50—deciding to end their marriages. While the term may not have a strict legal definition, it has become widely recognized in both social and legal contexts. In New York, as in other parts of the world, grey divorce presents unique challenges and considerations that differ from those faced by younger divorcing couples. These cases often involve long-term marriages where the partners have spent decades building a life together, resulting in complex entanglements of assets, retirement funds, and family dynamics.
The Rising Trend of Grey Divorce in the 21st Century
The trend of grey divorce has been on the rise in New York and across the United States. This can be attributed to various factors such as increased life expectancy, which gives individuals more time to consider their personal happiness and fulfillment well into later stages of life. Additionally, societal norms have evolved to become more accepting of divorce as a viable option for dissatisfied couples, regardless of age. As a result, the stigma that once surrounded divorce, particularly among older individuals, has diminished, leading to an increase in grey divorces.
Key Factors That Differentiate Grey Divorce
Grey divorces in New York are differentiated from other divorces by several key factors. Firstly, the financial implications can be significantly more complex due to the accumulation of assets and debts over a longer period of marriage. Division of property, including the marital home, investments, and retirement accounts, must be addressed with special care to ensure a fair and equitable distribution following New York’s equitable distribution laws.
Moreover, issues such as spousal support (alimony) take on new dimensions in grey divorces. In long-term marriages, there may be a greater likelihood of one spouse having foregone career opportunities for the sake of the marriage or family, which can lead to more substantial alimony settlements. Additionally, considerations around health insurance, medical needs, and life insurance become more pronounced, as parties must secure their health and financial well-being post-divorce.
Lastly, grey divorce can significantly impact family dynamics, particularly with adult children and potential grandchildren. While child custody and support are not typically central issues as they might be in divorces involving younger children, the emotional and relational consequences can be profound and require sensitive navigation.
Understanding grey divorce in New York requires a recognition of the distinct legal, financial, and emotional landscapes that govern these cases. Couples facing grey divorce must navigate a path that considers the culmination of a life’s worth of shared experiences and the division of a complex web of assets and liabilities. Legal guidance is recommended to manage these cases with the dignity and thoroughness they deserve.
The Causes Behind the Increase in Grey Divorces
The state of New York, mirroring national trends, has seen a notable rise in the occurrence of grey divorces. Understanding the catalysts behind this uptick is crucial for legal professionals and individuals alike, as they navigate the unique challenges of dissolving a marriage later in life.
Societal Shifts and Changing Attitudes Toward Marriage
As mentioned, one of the observed primary causes for the surge in grey divorces is the significant shift in societal attitudes towards marriage and individual fulfillment. The cultural landscape in New York has evolved to prioritize personal happiness and self-actualization, even in the later stages of life. This evolution in mindset has diminished the stigma associated with divorce, facilitating a more accepting environment for older couples to part ways if the marriage no longer serves their mutual interests or individual desires.
New York’s no-fault divorce law, which allows a marriage to be dissolved simply on the declaration that it is “irretrievably broken” for at least six months, also reflects and supports this societal shift. The ease of filing for divorce without the need to establish fault has likely contributed to the increase in grey divorces, as couples are no longer forced to stay in unhappy marriages due to legal complexities.
Financial Independence and Later Life Self-Discovery
Another contributing factor to the rise in grey divorces is the growing financial independence of older individuals, particularly women. As more spouses in New York have entered the workforce and built their own careers and retirement savings, they have gained the economic means to live independently. This financial autonomy allows individuals to consider divorce as a viable option, whereas in the past, economic dependency may have compelled them to remain in unsatisfying marriages.
Additionally, later life self-discovery and the pursuit of individual interests play a significant role. With children grown and retirement on the horizon, many individuals reassess their lives and wish to spend their remaining years pursuing personal goals or new relationships. This period of reflection can lead to the realization that their current partnership may no longer align with their renewed sense of self.
The Impact of Empty Nest Syndrome on Marital Stability
The concept of “empty nest syndrome” is well-recognized as a phase where parents experience feelings of sadness and loss when their children leave home. This transitional period can profoundly impact marital stability. For some couples, the departure of children can expose underlying issues in the marriage that were previously masked by the shared focus on child-rearing and family activities.
The newfound quiet and solitude can lead couples to reevaluate their connection and compatibility. In instances where the marriage was heavily centered around the children, spouses may find that they have grown apart or no longer share common interests. This realization can be a driving force behind the decision to divorce and seek a new beginning during the later years of life.
In New York, where individuals are accustomed to constant change and redefinition, grey divorces have become an avenue for reimagining life’s later chapters. Legal professionals practicing in grey divorce exercise special care in determining these causes and are adept at addressing the nuanced needs of clients who choose to part ways in their later years.
Cause of Grey Divorce
Description
Impact on Divorce Decision
Societal Shifts and Attitudes
The evolution towards valuing personal happiness and self-actualization has reduced the stigma of divorce.
Encourages older couples to consider divorce if the marriage no longer serves their interests.
No-Fault Divorce Law
Allows marriages to be dissolved without establishing fault, simplifying the legal process.
Reduces the barrier to divorce, contributing to the rise in grey divorces.
Financial Independence
Particularly for women, increased participation in the workforce has led to economic self-sufficiency.
Provides the financial means necessary for individuals to live independently post-divorce.
Later Life Self-Discovery
Post-retirement, individuals reassess their lives and may pursue personal goals or new relationships.
Can lead to the realization that one’s current partnership no longer aligns with their renewed sense of self.
Empty Nest Syndrome
The departure of children can expose underlying marital issues, previously obscured by child-rearing.
May prompt couples to reevaluate their connection and compatibility, often leading to divorce.
The Legal Process of Grey Divorce Explained
In New York, the legal process of grey divorce follows the same essential procedures as any other divorce, but the issues at stake often require more careful consideration due to the duration of the marriage and the age of the parties involved. Understanding how to navigate asset division, alimony, and retirement funds is critical for those facing a grey divorce.
Navigating Asset Division in Grey Divorce Cases
Asset division in New York is governed by the principle of equitable distribution, which aims to divide marital assets fairly, though not necessarily equally. In grey divorces, the process of asset division can become particularly complex due to the accumulation of assets over a long-term marriage. Couples may own a marital home, share business interests, and have multiple bank accounts, investments, and personal property that all need to be assessed and divided.
For grey divorces, a thorough valuation of all assets is imperative. This often requires the expertise of financial analysts and appraisers to ensure that the division is based on accurate and current valuations. New York courts will consider factors such as the duration of the marriage, the contributions of each spouse to the marital property, and the future financial circumstances of each spouse when making a determination.
Alimony Considerations for Long-Term Marriages
Alimony, known as spousal support in New York, is often a critical issue in grey divorces, especially when one spouse may have been out of the workforce for an extended period. In long-term marriages, there is a greater likelihood of a significant disparity in earning capacities, which can impact the duration and amount of spousal support awarded.
New York law provides guidelines for determining alimony but also grants judges considerable discretion to deviate from these guidelines based on the circumstances of each case. Factors that may influence alimony decisions in grey divorces include the age and health of the parties, their present and future earning capacity, and the need to adjust to the financial realities of living independently after the dissolution of a long-term marriage.
The Role of Retirement and Pensions in Grey Divorce Settlements
Retirement benefits and pensions are often among the most significant assets to be considered in a grey divorce. Under New York law, retirement accounts that were funded during the marriage are typically considered marital property and are subject to equitable distribution. This includes 401(k)s, IRAs, military pensions, government and private pensions, and other retirement assets.
Dividing these assets equitably can be intricate, as it requires understanding the present value of future benefits and ensuring that both parties maintain financial security in retirement. Special orders, such as Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDROs), may be used to divide retirement accounts without incurring penalties or unintended tax consequences. Additionally, considerations must be made regarding the timing of when a spouse can access these benefits, as well as the impact of early withdrawal penalties and tax implications.
In grey divorce cases, it’s not uncommon for parties to negotiate trade-offs, such as one spouse retaining a larger portion of the retirement assets in exchange for the marital home or other assets. Legal experience is essential in these negotiations to protect the interests of both parties and to ensure compliance with New York divorce law.
The legal process of grey divorce in New York requires careful legal strategy and financial planning. It is essential for divorcing individuals to seek experienced legal counsel who can guide them through the complexities of asset division, alimony, and the division of retirement benefits to secure their financial future post-divorce.
Challenges Unique to Grey Divorce Situations
Grey divorce in New York, as in other jurisdictions, presents a set of challenges that may not be as prevalent in divorces among younger couples. These challenges often revolve around health care considerations, estate planning, and the emotional difficulties associated with ending a long-term marriage later in life.
Addressing Health Insurance and Medical Care Concerns
One of the critical issues unique to grey divorce involves health insurance and medical care. For many older individuals, health insurance is often provided through a spouse’s employer. Upon divorce, the dependent spouse may lose this coverage, which can be particularly concerning for individuals with existing medical conditions or those who face increased health risks as they age.
Under New York law, a spouse who is covered under their partner’s health insurance plan may have the right to continue coverage under COBRA for a limited time following the divorce. However, COBRA can be expensive, and the coverage is not permanent. Therefore, negotiating health insurance coverage and future medical costs is often a significant aspect of the settlement. It’s not uncommon for these costs to be factored into spousal support calculations or asset division to ensure that both parties have access to adequate medical care post-divorce.
Estate Planning and Inheritance Issues in Grey Divorce
Grey divorce also necessitates a reevaluation of estate planning and inheritance issues. In New York, divorcing parties must consider the impact of their divorce on wills, trusts, powers of attorney, and health care proxies. These legal documents often name spouses as beneficiaries or decision-makers, and a divorce can significantly alter the intended outcomes of a person’s estate plan.
Parties must take proactive steps to update their estate plans to reflect their new marital status and ensure that their assets are distributed according to their wishes upon their death. This may involve creating new wills, updating beneficiary designations on life insurance policies and retirement accounts, and establishing new trusts, if necessary.
The Emotional Complexities of Divorcing Later in Life
The emotional aspects of grey divorce can be particularly complex. After many years of marriage, older couples have shared a lifetime of memories, raised children, and likely faced various life challenges together. The decision to divorce can bring a sense of loss, not just of the relationship, but of a shared history and identity.
Older individuals may also face concerns about loneliness, the fear of starting over late in life, and the reactions of adult children and grandchildren. New York courts, while primarily focused on the legal and financial aspects of divorce, may sometimes recognize these emotional challenges during proceedings, especially during mediation or collaborative divorce processes.
In addition, there may be societal pressures or expectations that can make it difficult for older individuals to discuss their decision to divorce openly. Counseling and support groups can be beneficial for addressing these emotional complexities and helping individuals navigate the often difficult transition into single life.
Given these unique challenges, parties going through a grey divorce in New York are encouraged to work with divorce attorneys, financial planners, and mental health professionals who have experience with the specific needs of divorcing older adults. This team approach can help address the comprehensive legal, financial, and emotional considerations of grey divorce, ensuring that both parties are supported throughout the process.
Protecting Financial Security During Grey Divorce
Ensuring financial security is a paramount concern for individuals going through a grey divorce in New York. As the division of assets can have a profound impact on each party’s lifestyle and retirement plans, it is essential to employ strategies for asset preservation and to understand the financial implications of the divorce, including those related to Social Security benefits.
Strategies for Asset Preservation and Retirement Planning
Asset preservation during a grey divorce involves careful retirement planning and financial strategizing. In New York, equitable distribution laws require that marital assets be divided fairly, but not necessarily equally. This means that individuals need to have a clear understanding of which assets are considered marital property and which are separate property.
To protect one’s financial interests, it is crucial to:
Obtain accurate valuations for all assets, including real estate, businesses, investments, and retirement accounts.
Understand the tax consequences of dividing these assets, as certain transactions could result in significant tax liabilities.
Consider the liquidity of assets and how the division of property will impact cash flow and retirement planning.
Evaluate whether keeping the marital home is financially sensible or if it would be more prudent to sell the property and divide the proceeds.
Work with financial planners who specialize in divorce to create a post-divorce budget and long-term financial plan.
Understanding the Implications of Social Security and Grey Divorce
Social Security benefits often play a critical role in post-divorce financial planning for older individuals. In New York, as in the rest of the United States, Social Security benefits accrued during the marriage are considered when assessing each party’s financial future. However, Social Security benefits are not divided as part of the divorce proceedings since they are governed by federal law.
A divorced individual may be eligible to receive benefits based on their former spouse’s work record if the marriage lasted at least 10 years, they are at least 62 years old, and they are currently unmarried. Understanding these rules is essential for maximizing Social Security benefits and ensuring a stable income stream during retirement.
Negotiating Equitable Settlements for a Secure Future
Negotiating an equitable settlement is crucial for ensuring financial security after a grey divorce. It involves more than just dividing assets; it requires a comprehensive look at the long-term financial needs of both parties. In New York, the goal is to reach a settlement that allows both individuals to maintain a standard of living similar to that which they enjoyed during the marriage, to the extent possible.
Key considerations for negotiating a fair settlement include:
Determining the need for and amount of spousal support, especially if one party has been out of the workforce for an extended period.
Structuring the division of assets to account for each party’s health, age, and future earning capacity.
Ensuring that any division of retirement assets is done through the appropriate legal instruments, such as QDROs, to avoid unnecessary taxes and penalties.
Considering the cost of health insurance and long-term care and how these expenses will be covered.
Working with an experienced divorce attorney is essential for navigating the complexities of grey divorce in New York. Legal counsel can help negotiate settlements that protect an individual’s financial well-being while complying with New York’s equitable distribution laws and considering the unique circumstances of grey divorce.
The Social Dynamics of Grey Divorce
Grey divorce not only leads to significant changes in personal and financial aspects of life but also dramatically alters social dynamics for those involved. As older individuals in New York navigate the end of a long-term marriage, they face unique social challenges, including re-entering the dating scene, the need for a robust social support system, and the complexities of family dynamics, particularly involving adult children.
Re-entering the Dating Scene After a Grey Divorce
Post-divorce life often includes the possibility of new romantic relationships. Re-entering the dating scene can be both exciting and intimidating for those who have not dated in decades. Older divorcees must navigate a vastly changed dating landscape, often dominated by online dating platforms and new societal norms.
Older individuals may prefer more traditional means of meeting new people, such as community events, religious gatherings, or through mutual acquaintances. Regardless of the method, building new romantic connections requires patience, openness, and a willingness to step outside one’s comfort zone. It is essential to approach dating with a sense of self-awareness and clear boundaries, especially after experiencing a significant relationship’s end.
The Importance of Social Support Systems Post-Divorce
A strong social support system is crucial after a grey divorce. Such support can come from friends, family, community groups, or support groups for divorced individuals. In the wake of divorce, social networks may change, necessitating the development of new friendships and support structures.
In New York, there are numerous resources available for those going through a divorce, including counseling services, social clubs for single seniors, and community activities that provide opportunities for social interaction and support. Engaging in new hobbies, volunteering, or joining clubs can help build a new community and prevent the isolation that sometimes accompanies divorce later in life.
Navigating Family Dynamics and Adult Children’s Reactions
The reactions of adult children to their parents’ grey divorce can vary widely, ranging from understanding and support to shock, disappointment, or even anger. Parents may need to navigate complex family dynamics and address the concerns of their adult children, who may worry about the family’s future or their parents’ well-being.
It’s important for divorcing parents to communicate openly with their adult children, providing reassurance about both the decision and the future. It can be beneficial to involve a family therapist to help manage emotions and expectations as everyone adjusts to the new family structure. Taking steps to maintain family traditions and relationships, where possible, can also help in preserving a sense of continuity and stability.
The social dynamics of grey divorce in New York reflect broader changes in life circumstances and relationships. Those going through a grey divorce must be prepared to address these social aspects with sensitivity and a proactive approach to building a fulfilling post-divorce life.
Compassionate Representation and Professional Guidance From The Law Office of Richard Roman Shum
Navigating the landscape of grey divorce in New York requires a thoughtful approach, as it involves more than just the legal dissolution of a marriage. It’s about carefully unraveling the tapestry of shared life experiences, financial entanglements, and the emotional threads that have bound couples together for decades. Understanding these nuances is critical, and having a guide who is attuned to the implications of each decision can make a significant difference in the outcome.
At The Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, our Manhattan divorce lawyer is ready to listen to your story and advocate for your interests. We recognize that grey divorce is not just about the law; it’s about people and their futures. Our approach is grounded in compassion and backed by a thorough understanding of New York divorce laws and how they apply to the unique circumstances surrounding a divorce later in life.
When you’re dealing with the uncertainties of a grey divorce, it’s comforting to know you have a steadfast advocate in your corner. We are dedicated to guiding you through each step, providing clear explanations and practical advice to help you make decisions that will impact your financial security and personal well-being.
As you face this challenging time, remember that you don’t have to do it alone. The Law Office of Richard Roman Shum is here to offer support and legal guidance. Whether it’s determining the equitable distribution of assets, navigating retirement and pension plans, or simply understanding what your life will look like post-divorce, we’re here to help.
Take the first step towards securing your future today. Contact The Law Office of Richard Roman Shum for a consultation, and let us help you move forward with the knowledge and confidence you need to start anew.
from Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, Esq. https://www.romanshum.com/blog/what-is-grey-divorce/
Going through a divorce can be one of the most emotional and stressful experiences of your life. Especially when there are children involved, a divorce can have a deep psychological and personal impact on all parties. The last thing anyone going through a divorce would want is a prolonged process full of conflict. Aside from the psychological effects, a long divorce case can also cause bills to accumulate, with legal and court fees being of primary concern.
Not all divorces have to be contentious or dragged out, there are options that a couple seeking to divorce can explore to have a more amicable, and easy divorce process in New York. Having the assistance of an experienced Manhattan divorce lawyer should help make the legal processes surrounding a divorce more efficient. A skilled attorney who is experienced in mediation can also help in the de-escalation of conflict and improve negotiation.
How Long Does a Divorce Take in New York?
In New York, understanding the timeline of a divorce is crucial for couples considering this significant life change. The duration of the divorce process can vary significantly, depending on factors such as the efficiency of the court system and the cooperation between the parties involved.
An uncontested divorce, where both parties agree on all terms, can be relatively quick. The duration for an uncontested divorce varies, with some resolved in as little as six weeks and others extending to six months or more. This timeframe is contingent upon the court’s schedule and the promptness with which your spouse returns the necessary documentation. Typically, an uncontested divorce can take about three months for the paperwork to be processed and filed with the court, depending on the court’s caseload.
On the other hand, when there are contentious issues or disagreements between the spouses, the timeline can extend significantly. Contested divorces may take several months or longer, as the resolution of complex issues such as child custody, asset division, and spousal support requires more time. In New York, there is no mandatory waiting period, but the presence of more disagreements prolongs the process duration.
It’s important for individuals to understand that each divorce case is unique, and estimating an exact timeline can be challenging. Consulting with an experienced Manhattan divorce lawyer can provide a more tailored estimate based on the specific details of your case and the circumstances surrounding your divorce. For personalized legal advice, schedule a consultation with the Law Offices of Richard Roman Shum today.
What Are the Factors That Contribute to the Length of a Divorce?
Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation refers to the process of consulting a professional to discuss each spouse’s needs regarding the divorce. A mediator’s role is to facilitate the discussion between the spouses and to help them cooperate in discussing the terms of the divorce. Mediation is not meant to replace the divorce process and the couple still has the choice of whether to proceed with the divorce. Mediation may also not be effective for couples for which communication has deteriorated beyond repair.
No-Fault Divorces
New York divorces fall under many different grounds. Grounds are legally acceptable reasons for which a couple can file for a divorce. A couple can get a no-fault divorce if their marriage has broken down irretrievably for at least six months. In this kind of divorce, a separation agreement is not required. The allegation that the marriage has broken down is enough. However, the divorce will not be finalized until the couple has come to an agreement regarding the following major issues in their marriage:
Distribution of marital property
Child support, custody, and visitation of any minor children
Spousal support, also known as Maintenance
Legal fees and expenses
New York City divorce attorney
Legal Separation
If you and your spouse have been legally separated for a year through a binding separation agreement, you may be able to directly convert the agreement into a divorce. To obtain a judgment of divorce through separation, you will need to prove to the court that you and your spouse have followed the terms of the separation agreement for more than a year.
However, it is crucial that you carefully construct the separation agreement to reflect your best interests. The court will not consider the separation agreement enforceable if it deems that there has been coercion, fraud, or unfairness in the agreement. Seeking the help of an experienced New York City separation agreement attorney may help you draft a document that will be honored by the court because of its fairness.
Uncontested Divorce
If the couple is willing and able to compromise and agree on the terms of their divorce, the couple’s attorneys can move ahead in drafting the divorce documents and filing them in court. The only additional time needed in this type of divorce is the turnaround time of the court and whether they have a lot of backlogs. Uncontested divorces can take roughly three to six months to be finalized.
Contested Divorce
While not inevitable, sometimes a couple comes to the divorce table unable to work with each other. When a couple disagrees on a factor of the divorce, the divorce becomes contested. It can take longer for the divorcing couple to settle on the factors of their divorce. Both spouses will need to hire their own legal counsel specialized in contested divorces to represent their best interests.
If a settlement is not reached, the case would have to be turned over to the court. The court will decide on the factors of the divorce on behalf of the spouses. A contested divorce may take 9 months on average, or more if a lot of the variables in the divorce are contested.
At-Fault or Fault-Based Divorces
A fault-based or at-fault marriage can be filed for cases where a spouse alleges and is able to prove that the other spouse did something to cause the dissolution of the marriage. At-fault grounds in New York include the following:
Cruel and inhuman treatment – Using these grounds for a divorce involves proving to the court that physical, verbal, emotional – and at times, financial – abuses happened during the last five years of your marriage.
Abandonment – This ground requires that your spouse must have abandoned you for at least a year. One kind of abandonment is physical abandonment, which involves being locked out or moving out of the marital home.
Imprisonment for three consecutive years – If your spouse is sentenced to prison after your marriage and has been in prison for three years consecutively, you may use this ground to file for a divorce. A petition for divorce can be applied while your spouse is still in jail or up to five years after they are released.
Adultery – Filing a divorce under grounds of adultery involves having to provide third-party evidence to the court. This may be especially difficult to prove without the help of an experienced New York City divorce attorney.
At-fault divorces and no-fault divorces can take roughly the same amount of time to conclude, depending on how capable the couple is of cooperation with one another. However, it is important to note that the longer a divorce is litigated, the longer it will take to conclude. Regardless of whether you are filing a no-fault or an at-fault divorce, the help of a skilled New York City divorce attorney will be beneficial in making sure the process goes as efficiently as possible.
Negotiations and court proceedings can take a long time without an experienced Manhattan divorce attorney by your side. An attorney will also be aware of the changes in the laws and statute of limitations that you must follow to pursue particular at-fault grounds for divorce.
At the Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, we provide qualified legal counsel and aggressive representation when needed to protect our client’s rights. Our experienced Manhattan divorce attorneys may be able to help you. Call us today at (646) 259-3416 or fill out our online form to schedule a complimentary consultation.
Factors
Description
Divorce Mediation
Discussion between spouses with the help of a professional mediator to agree on the terms of the divorce
No-Fault Divorces
Divorce filed without the need for a separation agreement, but requires an agreement on distribution of property, child support and custody, spousal support, and legal fees and expenses
Legal Separation
Divorce filed after being legally separated for a year through a binding separation agreement that reflects the best interests of both parties
Uncontested Divorce
Divorce that proceeds quickly if the couple agrees on the terms
Contested Divorce
Divorce where a couple disagrees on a factor of the divorce, requiring both spouses to hire legal counsel, and can take longer
At-Fault or Fault-Based Divorces
Divorce filed for cases where a spouse alleges and is able to prove that the other spouse did something to cause the dissolution of the marriage, such as cruelty or adultery
Children
Time taken to agree on child custody, support, and visitation agreement
Assets and Liabilities
Time taken to assess and distribute marital property and debt
Complex Assets and Liabilities
Time taken to distribute assets such as shares in a company, a marital-owned business, stocks, and foreign investments, or significant debt
Alimony or Spousal Maintenance
Time taken to determine the amount of financial support for the financially dependent spouse
How Much Does a Divorce Cost in NY
When couples in New York decide to part ways, one of the primary concerns involves the costs associated with a divorce. The cost of divorce in NY can vary greatly based on various elements:
Uncontested vs. Contested Divorce: An uncontested divorce in NY, where both parties mutually agree on all terms, is the most cost-effective route. The average cost is around $500, which covers filing fees and court costs. However, this cost can increase if parties need legal consultation or assistance with paperwork. The process of an uncontested divorce is also typically quicker, further reducing costs as it requires less involvement from legal professionals.
On the contrary, a contested divorce, where disagreements on terms persist, can substantially escalate costs due to court appearances, mediation, and potentially a trial. The cost could range from $3,000 to $30,000, or even higher, depending on the nature and number of contested issues, and the complexity of the case.
Child Involvement: When children are involved in a divorce, additional costs related to child custody and support arrangements may arise. These costs could include the expense of a child custody evaluator, who assesses the family situation and makes recommendations to the court, or fees for a Guardian ad Litem, a court-appointed individual tasked with determining the best interests of the child. The more contentious the custody dispute, the more time a lawyer needs to spend negotiating or litigating these issues, which drives up costs.
Attorney’s Fees: Legal representation forms a significant part of the overall cost of a divorce. The hourly rates for divorce attorneys vary based on the attorney’s experience level, reputation, geographical location, and the complexity of the case. While it may be tempting to save money by avoiding legal counsel, doing so can lead to unfavorable outcomes, especially in complicated situations.
Mediation or Collaborative Divorce: Mediation or collaborative divorces offer alternative, often less expensive, paths to traditional divorce. Both parties work together with a neutral third party (mediator) or their respective attorneys to resolve disputes. This method can save money by reducing court costs and legal fees, and by simplifying and speeding up the divorce process.
Court Fees: Court fees are an inescapable part of the divorce process. In New York State, these fees are typically around $350, although they can vary by county. There may also be additional costs for court services or for hiring a process server to deliver divorce papers. In some cases, parties may qualify for a fee waiver, which can help reduce costs.
Other Potential Costs: There are other potential costs in a divorce, such as real estate appraisals, psychological evaluations (if custody is contested), and costs associated with changing a name. Parties may also need to consider the cost of setting up separate households, the tax implications of divorce, and potential changes in health insurance coverage.
If you need help with divorce, creating a separation agreement, or resolving complex asset and liability issues, consulting an experienced New York City divorce attorney can ensure a smooth and efficient process. The Law Office of Richard Roman Shum provides competent legal counsel and representation to protect clients’ rights, and their experienced attorneys are ready to assist in making the process as efficient as possible.
Other Factors
The length of time your divorce may take can hinge on your and your spouse’s agreement or inability to agree on the matter of these variables. Discussing these factors is of utmost importance as these can affect your life even after the divorce has been settled.
Children
If you and your spouse have children together, it is doubly important to make sure that they live their lives as uninterrupted and stable as possible. You and your spouse would also need to discuss matters involving child custody and support. A visitation agreement would also be necessary so that your child/ren could spend time with their other parent. Keep in mind that, even though you and your spouse are experiencing the end of your relationship, your child/ren may be experiencing the hurt even more. It is important to be as civil to your partner as possible, especially always in front of the children.
Assets and Liabilities
The distribution of marital property can be one of the most time-consuming processes in a divorce. Generally speaking, couples with more shared assets may have to take longer to decide who gets which property. It is important to keep in mind that it is not only assets that need to be distributed. Your marital debt would also need to be assessed to ensure that you and your spouse are paying your fair shares.
If you have a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement with your spouse, that can shorten the process considerably. Your nuptial agreements may accelerate the distribution of your assets and liabilities.
Complex Assets and Liabilities
Compared to real estate and assets like vehicles, some assets might be more complex to distribute. Such assets can include shares in a company, a marital-owned business, stocks, and foreign investments.
If a couple has acquired a significant debt, it would also be subject to distribution unless the court decides against it. An example can be when a spouse has incurred debt for a third party that caused the dissolution of the marriage.
Alimony or Spousal Maintenance
In cases where one spouse is financially dependent on the other, a discussion of furnishing spousal support may be entered. This is especially true in cases where one spouse has given up their career to build a family and allow the other spouse to work.
The court will decide on the amount of alimony the financially dependent spouse is entitled to through a careful evaluation of their employment history. The court can also calculate the amount using the potential salary the dependent spouse may have earned when they quit their career and how difficult it would be for them to restart it.
Consulting an Experienced New York City Divorce Attorney
There’s no need for your divorce to be arduous and prolonged. At the Law Offices of Richard Roman Shum, we are committed to helping couples move on from this difficult chapter of their relationship. Our skilled New York City divorce attorneys are here to assist you in making the process as efficient as possible. We are open to exploiting terms of negotiation but are prepared to provide aggressive litigation for your best interests.
Contact us today at (646) 259-3416 to schedule an appointment with our skilled Manhattan divorce attorneys.
from Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, Esq. https://www.romanshum.com/blog/how-long-does-a-divorce-take-in-new-york/
People often worry about the accessibility of the records of their divorce proceedings. The question of whether divorces are public records does not have a one-size-fits-all answer, as the laws regarding the privacy of these records can vary greatly by jurisdiction. Parties involved in a divorce need to understand how these laws might affect the confidentiality of their divorce proceedings.
If you’re facing a divorce in New York and are uncertain about how your records will be handled, it’s crucial to consult with a knowledgeable divorce lawyer. At The Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, our team of Manhattan divorce lawyers may be able to guide you and help ensure that your privacy is protected throughout the process. For personalized advice and to understand your rights, call us today at (646) 259-3416 to schedule a consultation.
What are Divorce Records?
The phrase “divorce record” encompasses various forms of paperwork associated with the dissolution of a marriage. Knowing the specifics of what each type of record contains is crucial for those aiming to maintain their privacy to the greatest extent possible.
Different documents commonly recognized as “divorce records” include:
Divorce Certificates: Issued by the state’s vital records office or health department, a divorce certificate is a formal document that summarizes the dissolution of a marriage. It includes only basic information such as the names of the divorcing parties, the location of the court where the divorce was granted, and the date it was made official. Individuals typically need a divorce certificate to confirm someone’s divorce status or to provide legal proof of their divorce.
Divorce Decrees: This is the official court order that concludes the divorce proceedings. The content of a divorce decree can vary significantly. Some decrees are comprehensive, outlining detailed arrangements regarding asset division, alimony, child custody, and support. Others are more succinct, listing only the involved parties and referring to separate agreements that dictate the terms of the divorce.
Divorce Court Records: These records represent the most exhaustive category, comprising the full suite of filings and documents in a divorce case, as well as transcripts and recordings of the court sessions. Divorce court records are a treasure trove of information, potentially revealing financial data, childcare arrangements, grounds for the divorce, and other personal details of the individuals involved.
Divorce Records
Description
Divorce Certificate
A formal document issued by the state’s vital records office, summarizing the dissolution of a marriage. Includes names, court location, and official date.
Divorce Decree
The official court order concluding the divorce proceedings. Content varies, from detailed arrangements (asset division, custody) to succinct listings.
Divorce Court Records
Comprehensive records including all filings, documents, transcripts, and recordings in a divorce case. Reveals financial data, arrangements, and personal details.
The Confidentiality of Divorce Records in New York
Unlike some jurisdictions where divorce records may be considered public information, New York treats these documents with a high degree of confidentiality. In New York, divorce records are sealed and are not available to the public. This means that the personal and often sensitive information contained within the divorce proceedings is protected from public scrutiny. The court is also allowed to redact sensitive information such as personal information or addresses of the individuals involved in the case. The sealing of these records is in place to preserve the privacy of the individuals involved, especially when sensitive allegations such as abuse, infidelity, or mental health issues are part of the court documents.
Who Has Access to Divorce Records in New York?
In New York, the accessibility of divorce records is highly regulated to respect the privacy of the individuals involved. As such, the ability to acquire these records is limited to a select group. The primary individuals who can request and receive a copy of a divorce record include:
The parties who were formerly married to each other.
The legal representatives of the divorced individuals.
Any individual granted a court order from the State of New York.
Obtaining a court order to access someone else’s divorce records necessitates a valid, legal reason, as the court must be persuaded that a significant interest justifies such access. For instance, divorce details might be sought for cases that hinge on marital history, such as inheritance disputes or related court proceedings.
Circumstances for Unsealing Divorce Records
In certain exceptional situations, a court may decide to unseal divorce records or specific parts thereof. A notable instance is when a party requires the records for concurrent unrelated legal actions, where the court allows access to parts of the divorce records for use in a separate case.
It’s important to note that the sealing of a divorce decree does not obscure the case’s existence from public record searches. Unless specifically requested by legal counsel to maintain the confidentiality of the parties’ names, the fact that a divorce has occurred is publicly accessible, although the details of the proceedings might remain private.
Additionally, if there are court decisions on motions within the divorce case, these may be published and accessible. This extends to higher levels of the judicial process; should the divorce case be appealed, the appellate court’s findings and opinions are typically published.
How Do I Get Divorce Records In New York?
Navigating the process of obtaining divorce records in New York can be a straightforward task with the right information at hand. Below is an essential guide that outlines the steps and requirements for accessing both divorce decrees and certificates in the state.
Locating Divorce Judgments or Decrees
To retrieve certified copies of divorce judgments or decrees, you need to contact the County Clerk’s office where the divorce was finalized or the County Clerk in the county where the petitioner for the divorce resides. In many cases, the County Clerk’s office is situated in the same facility as the Supreme Court within the county. If the offices are separate, instructions to locate the County Clerk can be obtained from the Supreme Court clerk.
Certified Copies of Divorce Decrees
To obtain a certified copy of a divorce decree, you may either visit the County Clerk’s office personally or send a mail request. Access to these documents is restricted to the divorced parties, their legal counsel, or individuals with a specific court order. Attorneys must place their requests on the official letterhead of their company.
The New York State Supreme Court directory provides the necessary contact details for supreme courts and county clerks across the counties. There is a fee for obtaining certified copies, usually starting at $1.30 for copying costs and $8 for certification, but the County Clerk’s office will provide the exact fee structure.
Requesting Divorce Certificates
Divorce certificates are maintained by the Department of Health’s Bureau of Vital Records and can be requested through several methods:
Online or by phone: Quick and convenient access is often available through third-party websites that operate in partnership with the Department of Health.
By mail: Applicants must complete the necessary form and include copies of their identification, along with payment via postal money orders, personal checks, or certified checks made payable to the New York State Department of Health. Cash is not accepted for mail requests.
In-person: When requesting in person, the fee is $45, and you can pay with cash, money orders, or checks. Debit or credit card payments are not accepted.
Identification Requirements
Divorce certificates are classified as confidential. As such, only individuals directly involved in the divorce or those who possess a court order are permitted to request these documents. Valid identification must accompany all requests, which could include a driver’s license, state-issued photo ID, military ID, passport, or other official documents that verify the applicant’s name and address.
Availability of Records
The New York State Department of Health stores divorce certificates for divorces granted on or after January 1, 1963. For divorces that occurred before this date, only divorce decrees are available.
Getting the Legal Assistance of an Experienced Manhattan Divorce Lawyer
New York divorce records are not publicly accessible, reflecting the state’s commitment to the privacy of individuals during these often sensitive times. The confidentiality of these records ensures that the personal details and hardships experienced during the dissolution of a marriage are shielded from public scrutiny, providing a level of dignity and discretion to the involved parties.
If you are navigating through the complexities of divorce in Manhattan and have concerns about keeping your divorce records discreet, it’s crucial to have experienced legal guidance. At The Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, attorney Richard Roman Shum and our team of Manhattan divorce lawyers can offer you tailored advice and support needed to protect your privacy rights effectively. For personalized assistance and to ensure your divorce is handled with the utmost confidentiality, contact us today at (646) 259-3416 to schedule a consultation.
from Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, Esq. https://www.romanshum.com/blog/is-a-divorce-public-record/
No one wants a contentious separation. Many couples aim for the process to be as civil and amicable as possible but it’s no secret that the initial stages of separation can often be an ugly, stressful time. Couples who are in the process of separating are under a lot of pressure. This can be a recipe for disaster. If there are children involved, the process can feel impossible.
However, with the right approach, your separation doesn’t have to involve a lot of conflict. The separation process can go smoothly as long as you and your partner are willing to work together. Working with a highly-rated Manhattan divorce lawyer on your separation plans can be helpful in ensuring the process goes smoothly.
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Here are some tips that may help you maintain a constructive relationship with your partner while you go through the process of separation:
1. Give Yourself Time To Process Your Emotions
If you’ve come to the conclusion that separation is the logical next step for your relationship, it’s safe to say that a lot of thought has already transpired. However, during this emotional time, it’s helpful to take things slowly and focus on your own well-being. This pause in your relationship can give you more bandwidth to digest this significant transition in your life. It can also help you understand what you would like to accomplish in your next chapter.
Divorce lawyer in Manhattan
This may also mean having to physically move away from your spouse. If there are no safety concerns, it may be better to keep your children at home. This is to ensure that they remain in a stable environment. You may also want to explain to your children what is happening. Just make sure to keep it age-appropriate and seek the help of a professional if necessary. Seeking therapy for yourself, you and your partner, or for your family as a whole can be a good way to process your emotions about the separation.
Building a support network with your close friends can be beneficial. Make sure to only confide in people you trust to respect your decisions about the separation. Some people may want to give you advice and the advice may be coming from a position of goodwill, but decisions about your separation and your marriage should come from you alone.
It may also help to practice self-care and spend some time by yourself. Many couples forget that separating from their spouse is sometimes a way to rediscover themselves apart from the context of that relationship. It may also help to step back and see the forest for the trees; that is, to regain your perspective on the relationship. After having time to themselves, some couples find that they have a newfound appreciation for their spouse while others see more clearly the reasons why the relationship is not working anymore. Either way, time to process your emotions will let you set goals and resolve your decision to separate, whether it means getting back together or not.
2. Be Courteous to Your Spouse
Maintaining civility is important in working together. Having patience and understanding in discussing the matters of your separation can help set the tone for how the relationship will be down the line. It may be helpful to see your relationship during the separation as that of business partners. Being cooperative is essential in making sure any conflict is minimal.
Be careful not to badmouth your co-parent, regardless of whether in front of your children or not. It may also be tempting to share the changes in your life on social media, however, it can do more harm than good and can invite unwanted attention to you, your partner, and your children.
3. Manage Your Expectations and Set Your Boundaries
Having a clear idea about what you and your partner expect about the separation would save you time and emotional bandwidth. You will need to discuss some important questions regarding your separation from your partner and taking your time with them is equally important.
Are you looking to get back together as a married couple or do you expect the separation to end up in a divorce?
How long do you see the separation lasting?
Will you live apart the whole time or would you still be seeing each other?
You should also discuss your expectations about whether or not you will start seeing other people during the separation if you think that it will lead to a divorce. Even though you both are still legally married, it’s important to respect each other’s space. Discuss how you will communicate important information and follow through with what was discussed to avoid conflict.
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Prioritize Your Children’s Needs
It goes without saying that, as much as you and your partner would be going through a difficult time as a couple throughout the separation, your children will be experiencing the repercussions of your decisions. Their status quo is different from yours and your spouse’s, the biggest difference being that they will not be able to move away on their own or make their own decisions. You and your spouse should make sure to keep your children’s best interests in mind when making decisions about the separation.
If you have children, developing a parenting plan with your spouse should be high on your priority list. You will also need to communicate effectively and be trustworthy to make it work. Keeping your word when making plans with your spouse is important in showing that you are committed to making the partnership work even during the separation.
4. Audit Your Finances
When you separate, it can be easy to overlook everyday things like utilities, rent, and assets you and your spouse may have. While they may pale in comparison to the bigger picture of your relationship, it is still important to take note of them as they will factor into your separation if one of you chooses to move away. As a married couple, you likely have some property shared with your spouse, such as real estate, a car, a business, or joint bank accounts. Dealing with the division of property is necessary, even if you only intend to separate temporarily. Not discussing these issues and operating on assumptions can create resentment and discord.
Do not use the separation as an opportunity to go behind your partner’s back and spend money on big-ticket items. As tempting as it would be to suddenly blow your savings on a new sports car or a vacation, it’s important to be conscious of your finances as you may be looking to transition from a one-household to a two-household family.
5. Explore Other Sources Of Help
Getting advice from a qualified professional can make a big difference when dealing with a separation. Even though you may still be friendly and able to come to agreements with regard to matters of your relationship, you may still be experiencing stress and anxiety. It’s normal to feel uneasy about an uncertain future, as a lot of things are changing. By consulting with a doctor or a therapist, you may be able to alleviate some psychological and emotional burdens.
Keep in mind that your mental well-being is just as important as your physical health. You will be better equipped to deal with the challenges your separation brings if you are emotionally prepared.
Your children will also need the same kind of support. Validating their feelings about the separation and letting them express their emotions will help them be better adjusted to the change in family dynamics. Treat your children in the same way you would like to be treated.
“In both cases attorney Shum was great to work with. Navigating both of these situations was, at times, confusing. Attorney Shum made the details of both matters easy for me to comprehend.”
6. Seek The Help Of A Family Mediator Or Family Law Attorney
Before signing a separation agreement, you should consult with an experienced family law attorney to make sure your bases are covered. Even if divorce is not on the table, a family law attorney can review your agreement and make sure that it is legally binding.
Looking for an attorney that would fit your needs may not be as easy as you think. Choosing the right lawyer is not a one-size-fits-all matter. If you and your partner are looking for a more collaborative approach in pursuing your separation, you may want to consider hiring someone experienced in mediation. On the other hand, if you and your spouse are prone to conflict on key issues of your marriage, you might want to approach a lawyer who is aligned with more aggressive forms of dispute resolution.
The ‘right’ lawyer for your situation should be someone who would evaluate your particular set of circumstances and work towards a resolution that would be aligned with your goals.
7. Explore The Options For A Friendlier Divorce
If you and your spouse decide to make your separation final and move forward with your divorce, your lawyer should be able to help you make arrangements with that in mind. If the terms of your separation agreement still stand, you may be able to use it as a guideline for your divorce agreement as well.
As a friendlier divorce option, you and your spouse can opt to have an uncontested divorce if both of you can agree on key parts of your divorce. These include child custody and visitation, spousal support, and property distribution. If during your separation you and your spouse find something that you cannot agree on despite legal or counseling help, your divorce would be considered contested. In a contested divorce, a judge would decide on the key aspects of your divorce you and your spouse don’t agree on. A contested divorce typically takes more time to settle than an uncontested divorce as there are more things to take into consideration.
An experienced New York City divorce attorney should be able to provide you with information and help you decide which kind of divorce fits your case more appropriately.
8. Exercise Patience
Above all, it’s important to be patient while you are going through such a difficult time. It’s common for people undergoing a separation to feel frustrated about their spouse, their children, or about how slow the processes involved can be. A surefire way to disappointment and heartbreak is rushing through the motions of a separation. With patience, you can start the process of healing and move on without feeling pressured to accept the convenient options. You need time to be able to process the changes this new stage in your life will bring.
The good news is that you are not alone. By choosing to try and work with your partner in making your separation process an amicable one, you have gained the help of someone in the same boat as you are. Help is always available and you should not feel ashamed to ask for it.
Acknowledge that you are both going through a stressful time and give yourself the opportunity to adjust. If you have children, it may be a good idea to remain open to any questions they may have about the separation.
Each case is different, and some cases may be more difficult than others, but by following these tips, you may be able to proceed with your separation process in a friendlier and more stable manner.
Cooperation with your partner is key and there may be days when working together is hard but separation does not need to involve degrading your relationship further.
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What is Separation of Marriage
Marriage separation, also referred to as legal separation, is a recognized arrangement by the courts in New York. It involves a married couple living apart while adhering to the terms outlined in a separation agreement. This agreement is typically created with the assistance of attorneys and covers various aspects such as child custody, alimony, and division of property. It is important to note that legal separation does not terminate the marriage; instead, it provides a formalized structure for the couple to live apart while still being married.
During a legal separation, couples have the opportunity to reconcile at any time. However, if the separation persists for a year, either spouse can request the court to convert the separation into a divorce. It is crucial to recognize that legal separation can be just as complex as a divorce, and the decisions made during this period can significantly impact future outcomes.
Navigating a marriage separation in New York requires a solid understanding of the legal system. Engaging the services of a skilled Manhattan divorce lawyer can be crucial during this process. They can offer skilled guidance, draft and review separation agreements, and advocate for your best interests in court. At The Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, our team may be able to help alleviate the emotional difficulties and guide you through this challenging period with a strategic and clear approach.
Is Separation Good For a Marriage?
The decision of whether or not separation is beneficial for a marriage is a complex one, and it depends on various factors unique to each couple’s situation. Nevertheless, it is important for couples who are considering separation to approach the process in a healthy and constructive manner.
Taking the time to process emotions and seek support from trusted sources such as therapists is crucial. This can help couples gain clarity on what they hope to achieve in the next chapter of their lives, whether that involves reconciliation or not. Couples should also prioritize their children’s needs and work together to create a parenting plan.
To minimize conflicts and achieve positive outcomes, couples should practice civility and patience. They should avoid speaking negatively about their co-parent and refrain from sharing personal information regarding the separation on social media.
By taking a collaborative approach and communicating effectively, couples may find that separation can be a vital step towards a healthier relationship or an amicable divorce. Following the tips provided in this article can help couples navigate the separation process in a constructive and positive way.
If you are considering a separation, it is important to have the right legal representation to guide you through the process. A skilled Manhattan family lawyer can provide valuable advice on your legal rights and help you make informed decisions.
Tip
Course of Action
Take Things Slowly to Process Your Emotions
Give yourself time to digest the transition, seek therapy, build a support network, and practice self-care.
Maintain Civility and Patience
Be courteous to your spouse, avoid badmouthing them, and see your relationship as that of business partners.
Set Clear Expectations and Boundaries
Discuss important questions with your partner, set expectations and boundaries, and prioritize respect for each other’s space.
Keep Your Children’s Best Interests in Mind
Develop a parenting plan, communicate effectively, and validate your children’s feelings.
Manage Your Finances
Deal with the division of property, take note of shared assets, and be conscious of your finances during the transition.
Seek Support from Qualified Professionals
Consult with a doctor or therapist, seek similar support for your children, and consider mediation or legal help.
Exercise Patience and Openness
Take your time to process the changes, remain open to questions, and acknowledge the stressful time.
What Not To Do When Separating From Your Spouse?
When facing separation, it is essential to navigate the process thoughtfully and legally. First and foremost, do not hastily vacate the family home unless you or your children are in danger, as doing so can diminish your stake in the property. Violence or even the threat of violence towards your spouse can severely damage your custody case and lead to additional legal expenses. For the sake of your children, keep them shielded from the conflict. Do not involve them in the separation issues or use them to convey messages to your spouse.
Furthermore, it is vital to support the ongoing relationship between your children and your spouse, provided there is no risk of harm. Financial integrity is also key; do not alter the status quo by emptying bank accounts or misusing credit lines, as this could provoke punitive court measures. Similarly, cutting off a financially dependent spouse is ill-advised, given the potential for retroactive support orders.
Resist the urge to vent on social media; such public disclosures can turn against you in court. Also, avoid signing any legal documents or making informal agreements without a lawyer’s advice to ensure you fully understand your rights. Refrain from making significant purchases or disposing of marital assets before finalizing a separation agreement, as these actions can affect your financial obligations and damage your credibility in court proceedings.
Consult with an experienced New York City family law attorney if you and your partner are looking for a friendlier way to separate.
At the Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, we offer qualified legal assistance in matters of divorce, mediation, and family law. Contact us today at (646) 259-3416 to schedule a free consultation with one of our skilled New York City family law attorneys.
from Law Office of Richard Roman Shum, Esq. https://www.romanshum.com/blog/8-tips-for-a-healthy-marriage-separation-process/
